If you’ve read The Broken Road, then you probably know how I feel about dogs. Kri’s beloved Shi Tzu, Cade, stood between Kri and her abuser for nine long years. He weighed in at only nine pounds, and yet he didn’t hesitate to protect her against a man who could have easily killed them both. Kri was battered, and Cade was battered right alongside her. They slept together on the bathroom floor more nights than Kri could count, because the bathroom was the only room in the house with a door that locked. When Kri ran away from her abuser, she took only one thing with her. Her beloved Cade.

I had a dog like that once. A dog that stood between me and an abuser. That dog, Toby, taught me everything I know about love. He licked me on the nose, just seconds before he died. One final act of love. He was trying to comfort me, even though he was in excruciating pain. Toby took a piece of my heart with him when he died at the ripe old age of sixteen. I couldn’t bear the thought of living without him, so I had him cremated and placed in a simple maple urn. He currently rests in my office, next to a picture of the two of us. I still miss him, terribly. In all honesty, I’ve left my husband strict instructions to bury Toby with me when I die. Here’s a few reasons why…

1. Toby taught me to forgive those who hurt me, every time he forgave me for screwing up.
2. He taught me to greet those I love at the door; to show my loved ones how happy I am to see them every single day.
3. He comforted me when I was sick; resting his head on my stomach, foot, or leg until I felt better.
4. He literally licked my wounds.
5. Toby cuddled with me, a lot.
6. When I was excited, Toby wagged his tail. He was excited for me.
7. When I cried, Toby cried with me, either whimpering or howling with all his might.
8. He protected me, fiercely.
9. He warned me when he thought I was in danger and then moved closer to stand by my side.
10. Toby never abandoned me.
11. He made sure I was never alone.
12. Toby overlooked my shortcomings.
13. He didn’t expect perfection; he simply celebrated the fact that I existed.
14. He believed in me.
15. He trusted me to care for him; and last but certainly not least…
16. Toby taught me to love with my whole heart.

You can learn a lot from a dog. Ask Luis Carlos Montalvan, a wounded warrior with a service dog named Tuesday. Or better yet, read his book Until Tuesday. His story is even more compelling than mine. Or ask the next person you see with a service dog: How did this dog change your life? Stories abound about heroic dogs. Here are just a few: Hero Dog of the Year Finalists from 2014. Dogs show their love and devotion in remarkable ways. Countless dogs refuse to leave their master’s graves, even years after their masters have passed away. There simply is no greater love than the love of a dog.

K.S. Ruff

I first realized the power of music when my daughter had a kidney transplant at the tender age of two and a half. Her transplant team sent a music therapist to her hospital room two days after the surgery, once the more intimidating tubes and lines had been removed from her little body. The young man played a guitar as he strolled into the room and sat beside her on the hospital bed. He made her forget about her pain and coaxed the first smile we’d seen in days. Then he piled a number of musical instruments onto her bed. They made music together; and for that one glorious hour, the rest of us gained a much needed reprieve from the fears and anxieties that had been eating away at us. We no longer saw the life threatening medical condition… only our precious little girl grinning ear to ear as she beat on that drum.

Music can magically transport us, much like books do. That’s why I weave music into my books. Whether it’s Kadyn singing “Dream a Little Dream of Me” while slow dancing with Kri, the mysterious young man singing “Make You Feel My Love” when he finds Kri crying on a park bench, Kri singing along with Pink in the shower, or the friends dancing to Shaggy’s “Angel” when they’re vacationing in the Bahamas… music moves us.

We lean on music, like an old friend, at parties, weddings, and funerals. Music makes our commutes a little easier, our exercise regimes more bearable, and our dinners more enjoyable. So next time you’re in pain, feeling discouraged, or overwhelmed… seek out that long lost friend. Whichever genre you prefer, find the music that will lift your spirits or soothe you. Apply a little music therapy of your own. Give it a good hour to work while you go about your day. I promise, you’ll feel better!

It’s Memorial Day weekend. Thousands of people are visiting graves, raising flags, and honoring those who died while serving our country. So it should come as no surprise that I’m sitting here thinking about heroes. I often think of my two favorite heroes, the men who inspired my characters Kadyn and Dan in The Broken series. Kadyn, the man who pulls together hostage extraction teams, commandeers jets, and stands between a gunman and the woman he loves. Dan, the Vietnam Vet and former skip tracer who steps in to protect an abused woman with a stalker, jumps out of trees, and still manages to crack a joke while punching out the bad guy.

These characters have got me thinking about what heroes look like. I’ve given it some serious thought and concluded that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Devastatingly handsome men with rock hard abs and witty remarks aren’t the only ones out there saving the day. I’ve run across a lot of heroes in my lifetime. Here’s just a few…

• The mother who donated her nine year old daughter’s organs after she was killed in a car crash on the 4th of July so she could turn that horrific tragedy into something good;
• The Vietnam Vet battling PTSD who seeks out soldiers coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq so he can help them cope with their PTSD;
• The nine pound Shih Tzu who really did stand between an abuser and his battered wife;
• The countless moms I know who have given up rewarding careers to become full-time caregivers and advocates for their special needs children;
• The Vietnam Vet who helped an elderly woman out of a snowbank on the corner of a busy street in Helena this winter;
• The father who gave up his kidney to save his daughter’s life;
• The husband and wife who rappelled down a 220 foot building to raise money for Special Olympics in Delaware earlier this month;
• The three nurses I know who continue nursing others while battling their own life-threatening medical conditions;
• The soldier who moved mountains to bring two homeless dogs from Afghanistan home with him;
• The woman who was abused for twelve years as a child who has devoted her life to teaching at risk four year olds;
• The man who stood by his wife’s side as she battled cancer, who still honors her memory as a single dad;
• The six year old girl who insisted her mommy hand over her allowance so she could give it to a homeless family;
• The family who adopted three children from an orphanage in Russia, when they were only planning to adopt one;
• The prisoner who decided it was not too late to do something good with his life so he trained a service dog for a special needs child;
• The veterinarian who sponsored a 5K Hero Dog Walk to raise money to pay for service dogs for injured and disabled military veterans;
• The university student who is volunteering at an orphanage in India during her summer break;
• The ten year old girl who received the Excellence in Supporting Special Education Award earlier this month; and
• The family who adopted not one, not two, not three, but four special needs children, including a child from North Korea who was expected to die from cancer within the year.

You don’t have to walk through Arlington Cemetery (although I would very much encourage you to do so) to know there are heroes among us. People who despite their own hardships, pain, and suffering do extraordinary things to help make this world a better place. I hope this post inspires you to reflect on the heroes in your life; tell them how much you respect and admire them; or do something heroic in their honor.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank our military men and women. For them, it is never a single heroic act. They do heroic things every day. They risk their lives, sacrifice time with their families, and give everything they have to give twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, for their country, the people they love, and people they don’t even know. And I don’t believe they are hard-wired this way. They make a conscious decision, weighing all the costs and the risks, and they choose to be our heroes every single minute of every single day. Long after they retire from the military, and even from their final resting place, they empower and inspire the rest of us to do heroic things. Thank you… every single one of you… who has chosen to serve in this way. You are my hero.

Look at those lists! They both include physical attention, thoughtful gestures, and acts of kindness; but there is one BIG difference – men add service oriented tasks to their list – things like cleaning the house, running errands, fixing things, and doing favors. I have to admit I was a little annoyed by this. I mean, I’ve scrubbed my toilet at least a hundred times… and it hasn’t made my husband swoon – not once!  Still, out of fairness, a very good friend of mine once confided that the most romantic thing her husband did for her was shine her dress shoes. He was a Navy veteran, which I think makes the fact that he was voluntarily shining her shoes all the more impressive. She found his service romantic, but I think most of us are missing the point of these service oriented tasks. These may very well be the romantic gestures that we women don’t recognize!

The bottom line is this: We could ALL use a little more romance in our lives; and the nice thing about romantic gestures is they tend to be contagious. You text your boyfriend a thoughtful note, odds are high you are going to get one back. You slip a note in your husband’s Kindle, and he will likely leave one in yours. Look over the lists again. I’ll wait here while you do…. Did you notice how most of these romantic gestures cost absolutely nothing? If you really want more romance in your lives, do me a favor. Put your romance novel down for one evening (well maybe not my romance novel, but someone else’s romance novel). Fix your kids dinner and send them to bed early. Then, turn some soft music on, sit down at the dining room table, and have a candlelit dinner with your spouse. Write a note (or two or three) and put it somewhere he/she will find it. And, ladies, next time your husband kisses you on the neck when you are cooking… for crying out loud, turn around and throw your arms around his neck. Kiss him like you did when you first met. Play footsie under the dinner table. Dance in the kitchen – in front of your kids! Or, send the kids to the neighbors for a play date on Saturday afternoon, then chase your husband around the house with a squirt gun. Leave those ratty pajamas in your drawer for one night and slip into something nice. If you don’t have anything nice, just put on a pair of high heels and call it good. Trust me, you won’t regret it!!! In fact, I am quite certain you’ll enjoy where that little romantic gesture takes you.

K.S. Ruff

 

Bibliography

1. Ogas, Ogi. The online world of female desire. The Wall Street Journal. Arts and Entertainment. 2011. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704463804576291181510459902.html (accessed Sept. 26, 2013)

2. Business of Consumer Book Publishing. The romance genre. Romance Writers of America. 2013. http://www.rwa.org/p/cm/ld/fid=580 (accessed Sept. 26, 2013)